A full 2 years since my last post. I really am terrible at keeping up with this site. So much has happened since then. After I quit my job, I spent about 6 months being highly productive with painting. Mainly finishing up paintings that had been waiting for a long time. It felt really good. However, during that time I suffered a major hard drive failure and lost all the photos I’d taken and processed to be added on here. Of course, I didn’t believe in back-ups, so everything was just gone. Very disheartening. I also let one bad show demotivate me more than it should have. With dwindling funds, I ended up going back to work about a year ago and, since I had been in a tight spot financially, I wasn’t able to be very discerning with my choice of employment. The stress I had left my old job to recover from still hadn’t abated and this new company was actually worse. So, I just shut down. Work, home, eat, sleep, work, home, eat, sleep. Rinse and repeat. No desire to do anything more, no motivation to live beyond what was necessary. For another year. I just quit about a week ago.

Don’t get my wrong, some good did come of it. Thanks to some of the incentive programs, I was able to upgrade my printer and can now produce high-quality prints of my artwork. Not limited to 8″ by 10″ and smaller, as well. The last month with that company was better as well at the beginning and revitalized my will to enjoy life. That is to say, I had a new painting just completed and have drastically improved another one. I’m also in a better situation financially. Not completely out of the woods but certainly on better legs.

Not everything is related to work, however. I recently discovered that there is a high likelihood that I may be suffering from a hereditary deficiency in potassium. Which explains a lot that doctors have always failed to.

I’ve always been very reserved on what I post on here so let me explain a little backstory:

A couple years ago I started experiencing episodes of unexplained tachycardia. These episodes can last anywhere from 10 minutes to over an hour. I had an appointment with a cardiologist that I had to cancel when I lost my medical insurance but even before then my GP hadn’t done a great job of trying to resolve any issues that I brought up that wasn’t immediately fixable. Blood tests were conducted but results were never discussed unless I asked. “Your levels are a little off but they’re within normal ranges so nothing is actually wrong.” Then why don’t I feel like myself anymore? “Try these pills that make you feel like crap if you miss your dose by more than 10 minutes.” Why am I always so tired? I sleep 8 hours a night and if I have no reason to stay awake then I end up napping for another 3 hours in the middle of the day. No explanation.

My mother was hospitalized last month and during that time some underlying health issues that had been attributed to other diagnoses were brought to light. Chief among them were low potassium levels. Which her father died from. Sounds like such a small and simple to correct thing, too. If left unchecked, though, it can have serious health issues. Such as heart attacks. Which is actually how my grandfather died. A heart attack caused by a severe lack of potassium. It can also cause fatigue, low motivation, depression-like symptoms, intestinal problems. Guess which of those I don’t have. I’ll give you a hint. It’s less than 1.

Couple low potassium with chronically high stress levels and you’ve got a recipe for one messed up artist.

So, I have a plan to get my life back. Daily supplements, yoga, and painting. I also what to be a little more open on here about what is going on with me. Not just the painting. I can’t pretend my life is sunshine and rainbows. To be fair, not a person alive can truly make that claim. My life isn’t bad; I have a place I call my own, a supportive partner that has been with me for almost 16 years now, a small group of friends, a loving family that has always been there for me, and a passion that some people seem the enjoy. My life is actually pretty good; I just need to be able to enjoy it again. So, expect a life-centered rant from time to time.

I don’t actually expect anyone to read this but if you did thank you for taking the time.